Friends have to be kind and we have to have something in common and be understanding of my situation. I have a couple of friends that all understand what I am going through on some level. What makes someone a good friend?
You are right, Jen. To be good friends we need to be kind to each other and have a few things in common plus having a click kind of energy. Something I cannot really explain it in words. You just know there's something really nice happen between two people. You enjoy being around that person very much. There is a mutual trust and respect between the two of you. I have a few close friends for different sides of me. One is a fun and easy going friend that I enjoy talking about simple things. One, a more serious, kind and very spiritual friend that I admire very much. And one a very old friend from my home country whose acts like a sister...I love to boss me around! I love them all but I know my best friend is still my sister who lives in Indonesia because she knows me best.
Friends are those that will listen to you, without judgement and without an agenda, will laugh with you and be there for you. Like family, but without the pressure of the family.
Dear Jen, I love your reflections and thoughts. Rita’s words moved me deeply as well. Adding to what you have both spoken of, I will speak to the shared experiences of close friends…I feel safe emotionally and spiritually to share my deepest fears, my deepest heart aches and heart breaks, my deepest griefs, losses and vulnerabilities. The closest friends all have the capacity to listen with a deep caring, loving me full and without judgement, love me unconditionally, and don’t try to “fix” me. What happens when I feel safe and express these deepest hurts in their company of unconditional love, I speak out loud and release some of these hurts, their deep listening of love fills me. This filling from the surrounding love gives me hope, strengthens my relationship with my True Nature, brings a light into the darkness that has taken up space in my heart, refreshes my belief in myself, and shows me the way to love myself again. When I love myself again, I notice I love the world again, just as it is. Reclaiming my goodness that never actually went away, rather it got lost in the pain of the outside world which I internalized as myself.
When I surround myself with people who live their life from their Heart and Soul, I find there is equanimity, a way of being able to be okay in both the suffering and the joy of life and myself with greater ease and comfort.
I also see that with these close friends I am never shy to tell them over and over again that I love them. It feels like a a forever flowing fountain of love. Giving becomes an experience of receiving.
I also observe that with my loved ones, life is simple. Deep, Complex. But not complicated, because there is always space to share in honest conversation whenever something doesn’t feel quite right.
I tend to “feel” my way on this road of life. Some prefer to “think” their way. “Feeling” for me is living from my Heart, and inviting Mind to be Mindful, and Body to share its Wisdom.
Ah, that’s a good question Jen. Certainly understanding and trust are the bedrock of any friendship. And then there is personal chemistry. Sometimes we put too much emphasis on personal chemistry – whether we like someone – and not enough on understanding and trust. Later we find out that people that we thought were friends may not be and others who we thought were not, are. As human beings we have needs and one of those is love and belonging. So, a good friendship is based on give and take. Both people have to win and get something out of a friendship. It can’t be too one sided.
A good friend takes time to cultivate, time to understand each other's idiosyncrasies and peculiarities then you can indulge in sharing an exchange of ideas; I think common values and trust is a big factor too and just spending time together so that your comfort level becomes unquestioned between each other is helpful too. Friendship is a bit like love, it is hard to articulate, it's just there or its not. Good question Jen!!
Hi Jen, i took a couple days to think about your prompt as it is definitely one for some reflection! For me, a good friend is someone who you feel at home with, who you are able to share your highest highs and lowest lows, and doesn't pass judgement. As Rita and Tess said as well, it has to go both ways too! A good friendship can also face the test of time - for me, when I see my closest friends, no matter how long it's been since we've actually spoken or seen each other, it feels like no time has passed at all :) Thanks for the great prompt!
You are right, Jen. To be good friends we need to be kind to each other and have a few things in common plus having a click kind of energy. Something I cannot really explain it in words. You just know there's something really nice happen between two people. You enjoy being around that person very much. There is a mutual trust and respect between the two of you. I have a few close friends for different sides of me. One is a fun and easy going friend that I enjoy talking about simple things. One, a more serious, kind and very spiritual friend that I admire very much. And one a very old friend from my home country whose acts like a sister...I love to boss me around! I love them all but I know my best friend is still my sister who lives in Indonesia because she knows me best.
ReplyDeleteFriends are those that will listen to you, without judgement and without an agenda, will laugh with you and be there for you. Like family, but without the pressure of the family.
ReplyDeleteDear Jen,
ReplyDeleteI love your reflections and thoughts. Rita’s words moved me deeply as well. Adding to what you have both spoken of, I will speak to the shared experiences of close friends…I feel safe emotionally and spiritually to share my deepest fears, my deepest heart aches and heart breaks, my deepest griefs, losses and vulnerabilities. The closest friends all have the capacity to listen with a deep caring, loving me full and without judgement, love me unconditionally, and don’t try to “fix” me. What happens when I feel safe and express these deepest hurts in their company of unconditional love, I speak out loud and release some of these hurts, their deep listening of love fills me. This filling from the surrounding love gives me hope, strengthens my relationship with my True Nature, brings a light into the darkness that has taken up space in my heart, refreshes my belief in myself, and shows me the way to love myself again. When I love myself again, I notice I love the world again, just as it is. Reclaiming my goodness that never actually went away, rather it got lost in the pain of the outside world which I internalized as myself.
When I surround myself with people who live their life from their Heart and Soul, I find there is equanimity, a way of being able to be okay in both the suffering and the joy of life and myself with greater ease and comfort.
I also see that with these close friends I am never shy to tell them over and over again that I love them. It feels like a a forever flowing fountain of love. Giving becomes an experience of receiving.
I also observe that with my loved ones, life is simple. Deep, Complex. But not complicated, because there is always space to share in honest conversation whenever something doesn’t feel quite right.
I tend to “feel” my way on this road of life. Some prefer to “think” their way. “Feeling” for me is living from my Heart, and inviting Mind to be Mindful, and Body to share its Wisdom.
Love Cousin Tess
Ah, that’s a good question Jen. Certainly understanding and trust are the bedrock of any friendship. And then there is personal chemistry. Sometimes we put too much emphasis on personal chemistry – whether we like someone – and not enough on understanding and trust. Later we find out that people that we thought were friends may not be and others who we thought were not, are. As human beings we have needs and one of those is love and belonging. So, a good friendship is based on give and take. Both people have to win and get something out of a friendship. It can’t be too one sided.
ReplyDeleteA good friend takes time to cultivate, time to understand each other's idiosyncrasies and peculiarities then you can indulge in sharing an exchange of ideas; I think common values and trust is a big factor too and just spending time together so that your comfort level becomes unquestioned between each other is helpful too. Friendship is a bit like love, it is hard to articulate, it's just there or its not. Good question Jen!!
ReplyDeleteHi Jen, i took a couple days to think about your prompt as it is definitely one for some reflection! For me, a good friend is someone who you feel at home with, who you are able to share your highest highs and lowest lows, and doesn't pass judgement. As Rita and Tess said as well, it has to go both ways too! A good friendship can also face the test of time - for me, when I see my closest friends, no matter how long it's been since we've actually spoken or seen each other, it feels like no time has passed at all :) Thanks for the great prompt!
ReplyDelete